Do Not Suffer in Silence

Too many times people feel alone in their darkest times and never receive the support that they need. COVID-19 brought to light for many the importance of social interaction as a human being. I want you to know that you never have to be alone.

An important part of the therapy process is safety planning for those dark moments. A safety plan is not a guarantee of safety, but when practiced regularly and incorporated into day-to-day life, it can be an important way of minimizing harm. Safety plans often have 5 steps: Identifying triggers, using coping skills, reaching out to supportive friends/family, utilizing warmlines/crisis lines, and calling emergency services.

When you are able to identify the things that ignite dark thoughts or feelings, you are able to recognize what coping skills to utilize. Sometimes that isn’t enough though. I encourage those with a safety plan to really lean into those support persons. Notifying them when you originally make your safety plan with your therapist that you are identifying them as a support person. Talk to those individuals about how they may support you during a difficult moment. What can they do/say to help increase your safety. You could even supply them with a copy of your safety plan. Having a “safe word/phrase” so you can quickly and discretely notify them that you need assistance (the “notOK” app is a free application that can do this for you). This prepares both yourself and your loved ones for a crisis situation.

There are lots of ways to access mental health resources in a time of need…

Therapy Apps:

oscER San Diego


Ayana Therapy

It is also important to be aware of crisis resources in your community. Below I have provided a list of warmline/hotline numbers for various crises:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

National Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860

Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741

California Warmline: 855-845-7415

Trevor Project (LGBTQ Youth Lifeline): 1-866- 488-7386 or Text “START” to 678678

National Child Abuse Hotline: 800-422-4453

If your crisis has elevated to an Emergency situation please contact 9-1-1 or head straight to your local Emergency Room.

How to Cope with Racism

Racism is the pandemic that has been plaguing Black people for 400 years. I really wish I didn’t have to write about this, but here I am talking about racism in America in 2020 (the whole year has been trash, so why am I even surprised).

I first want to say…I see you. I see the hurt, pain, anger, sadness, frustration, worry, and every other emotion engraved in your beautiful, melanin rich skin. This deep anxiety within us that at any moment someone could dehumanize us, insult us, degrade us or worst and no one will see it, infringes on our peace and joy daily. From microaggressions to killings in the street, we deal with a myriad of stressors everyday. But how do we cope?

I want to give you a tangible breakdown on ways to cope with racism in your life.

Lean In

Lean in to the uncomfortable conversations. Taking a stand for yourself and others can bring a sense of relief. It may be initially uncomfortable, but it often leads to a release of buried thoughts and emotions. Be honest with yourself and those around you about how you feel. Read about anti-racism, black history, or personal stories of resilience to bring light to the shared experience of dealing with racism in America. Use your voice to speak up for change. Join a protest, sign a petition, donate, write, post, vote, whatever helps you feel heard!

Reach Out

Touch base with your support people. Those who you know will support you and make you feel good. Whether that be a best friend, a coworker, your therapist, or an acquaintance who is sharing in your experience. Speak about your hurt and let out your emotions. If you are unable to speak with close, loved ones try to journal or pray about your grief. Recognize the layers of emotions and let them out.

Shut Down

This may be the most important one of all. Shut down and recharge, so you can show up as your best self in your relationships and life. Take a break from social media or the news. Take some time off from work, so you don’t have to mask the emotions to maintain professionalism. Give yourself the basic fuel your body needs, whether that be some yoga stretches to recenter in the morning, eating a healthy meal to sustain yourself throughout the day, or making yourself a bedtime routine to ensure a good nights rest.

Know that we are in this together. Please take care of yourselves during these difficult times. And use the following resources to access help when needed:

California Warmline: 1-855-845-7415

San Diego Access & Crisis Line: 1-888-724-7240

U.S. Crisis Text Line: Text “TRIBE” to 741741

U.S. Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Teletherapy: Reasons to Offer and Participate in Virtual Mental Health Services

Being quarantined means being open to alternative forms of everything you normally do outside of your home. Trips to the gym are now Youtube workouts, brunch with friends is now group texts with an exponential amount of emojis, and trips to your therapist’s office is now teletherapy from the comfort of your couch. For therapists and those participating in mental health services, this can be an unwanted, but necessary shift. Participating in teletherapy services (aka telemedicine) is a great way to connect however, and access mental health services for both the professional and the client.

photo of woman using laptop

Reasons Why Teletherapy is a Positive Alternative

  1. Ease of Access: Utilizing teletherapy means you can access therapy appointments from virtually anywhere. For mental health professionals licensed in California, that means being able to provide mental health services to any resident in California from Sacramento down to San Diego. It also means clients don’t have to travel too and from an appointment or find parking or hit traffic or miss their appointment all together.
  2. Best Fit with Therapist: Over the years, I have had many clients move to find better opportunities for their life, but a sense of continuity was felt when they knew they could continue seeing me from their new location within the state. Teletherapy also allows you a wider selection of therapists/clients to work with as you are not confined to those located within a 30 mile radius. Having options means being able to find the therapist that can best understand your story and guide you to the change you want to see in your life.
  3. Feeling Comfortable: Being able to talk to your therapist/client from the space that is most comfortable for you can make a huge difference. Having control over your space can be a invaluable part of being able to open up in your therapeutic process. I have personally noticed that from my first sessions with a client to my closing session with a client, there is definitely a difference in how they and I dress (yoga pants make a regular appearance) due to finally feeling more comfortable in that therapeutic relationship. Utilizing teletherapy means having some of that comfort on the front end of your journey and meeting your goals on your terms.

The Downside of Teletherapy

As with anything there are pros and cons to teletherapy, and highlighting one side with out the other would be unfair to you. Fortunately, the major cons of teletherapy have less to do with the therapeutic process and more to do with technology’s short comings. At the end of the day, teletherapy is a fancy term for Facetime with your therapist. Although, teletherapy should be used on a HIPAA compliant platform (such as, Simple Practice, Vsee, etc.), if you’ve ever used a video conferencing application you know that poor connections, cyber security, and “hello. hellloo?” moments can all be a damper on a good conversation. Making sure you are in a safe space with a good connection is an easy fix to this problem however.

For therapists, our number one priority is always your safety, so it is smart to go over the nearest emergency room, emergency contacts, crisis line numbers, and any other safety precautions that can be made prior to starting your mental health journey.

With all this in mind, feel free to reach out for a 15 minute phone consultation, so you can see if teletherapy will be a helpful tool on your therapeutic journey!